Monday 21 May 2012

Hello, its Goebbels Speaking

Hello, Its Goebbels

Joseph Goebbles was a German politician and Reich Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany from 1933 to 1945. As one of Adolf Hitler's closest associates and most devout followers, he was known for his zealous oratory and anti-Semitism.

Goebbels earned a Ph.D. from Heidelberg University in 1921, writing his doctoral thesis on 19th century romantic drama)

Its me, Dr. Goebbels, writing from my grave, where I am turning with agony upon getting the news of a flowery diatribe launched by a pen-warrior, a key-board jihadi, with penchant for the word “paladin”. See, this is what happens when instead of making them learn by experience, you force your children to cram the SAT word lists, the whole “Word Smart” books and their likes. Just like a rotten apple causing explosive diarrhea, that cramming can lead to an emotional outburst from the yet-green mind of the average Pakistani Child. My advisors told me that exactly Nine hundred and Eleven SAT words were used in the beautiful blog written by the author. I, for one would have jumped upon the bandwagon to find the “hidden meaning” of the number 911 but since my untimely death, that mantle has been handed over to Zion Hamid and Shahid Masood. The writer has shown extremely good skills of copy/pasting from a thesaurus and he should be hired in the first instance by an Urdu newspaper as soon as he turns 18. It is easy to ride on the high horse, on the pulpit, if you allow me to delve into similar verbosity shown by the amiable writer, and pass silly judgements on people without coming up with any facts or agreeable data. This trend is not new and will never cease to exist. In our time, with the mighty Nazi Party at the helm, we cut out all voices of dissent and under the guidance of the supreme leader--a hero of war--reached the technological and sociological heights that were unparalleled by comparison in that era. We were self-sufficient, hard working, hated our neighbours with a passion, believed that we are the best nation in the world and sent the dissenters to camps where we used their labour for the greater good. Sounds familiar? Oh, I digress.

Despite my poor English language skills and scant interest in the happening of far off countries like Pakistan, I still keep tabs on major players in the news arena. Express Tribune as a Pakistani newspaper is one of the few that I am interested in. It is not exactly “Der Angriff” in terms of propaganda-spewing but it certainly has an agenda: An agenda to cater to the English-reading population of Pakistan and to project a progressive image of the country. While my opinion on this matter does not mean much to you dear reader, I have one simple Question, Who doesn’t have an agenda? Name one newspaper in the world without an “agenda”. The rhetoric against Express Tribune is a spin-off of the video created by the modern day crusaders at Pakistan Cyber Force(How I wish we had developed Internet in our time.!!!). 

While the whole blog peiece was a piece of art and I would highly recommend the Lahore Museum to store its manuscript,
the most enlightening parts were
Today Imran Khan is like a classic hero who has emerged as a paladin of nationalism, baptised in the waters of public opinion, made great and filled with courage”


He who is conscientious enough to prefer steep heights of truthfulness, selflessness, patriotic spiritedness over the primrose path of least resistance, of timid appeasement, of petty self seeking, always gets pilloried by the forces of status quo and inertia, so goes another law of history. Imran Khan has committed no crime, violated no law, breached no trust, betrayed no cause, wrecked no chariot-merely that he was guilty of sticking to his guns and having the courage of his convictions, courageous and cognizant enough to chart a different course, sing a different tune, and write a different script” and

Granted that these writers always ran low on writer’s ink and that logic and profundity were never their forte, but have they become so sterile, jaded and pathetically predictable as to be unable to write a single article without hurling mud at a celebrated national hero? History is replete with examples of once high and mighty writers, eventually running out of ideas and becoming clichéd and banal towards the fag end of their careers, but what to talk about the desultory and vapid ways of these writers who seems to have met their waterloo even before a Toulon?”

I am tempted to ask the amicable writer (Did you notice how I  changed the words, while saying the exact same thing ?) about his knowledge about the Great Khan beyond watching Television Anchors swooning over the “change” initially(and later eating a humble pie) and posts on his party’s official Facebook page but I won’t. It would be cruel of me to remind the young gun of all the “turn-coats” becoming the faces for the “Change” promised by the 59(or is it 60?) year old leader of the youth. I will not invite inevitable curses and trolling by the party faithful by suggesting a change in temperament with regards to the party and its “supreme leader”. I would also not waste your and my time advising the previously apolitical youth to read “actual books” or to attend “actual protests” if they want a political education. Why should they come out of their schools, colleges, coffee houses and air-conditioned cars(Glass Houses?) to find nothing but dismay? This would all be in vain. Nobody changes parties or opinions after debating their merits and de-merits. Proponents of such deluded mind-set should look at how democrats/Republicans in the United States and Conservatives/Labor Supporters in the United Kingdom always vote for their respective parties. As the last man standing for the once-great Nazi party, I see potential in the uprising of the youth of Pakistan. 

May the Shadow of Fuhrer remain upon us forever, 

Yours Faithfully,

Jospeh Goebbels

Magdeburg Cemetry   

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